“Co-dependency can be defined as the tendency to put others needs before your own. You accommodate to others to such a degree that you tend to discount or ignore your own feelings, desires and basic needs. Your self-esteem depends largely on how well you please, take care of and/or solve problems for someone else (or many others).” Edmund J. Bourne

A lot of times co-dependency is related to being in a relationship with someone who is an addict, whether it be alcohol, drugs, sex, etc. But co-dependency can also rise in a person through emotional distress. For me co-dependency started when I was a child and I believe came about out of the fear of expressing my feelings openly.

As a child there were many times where my thoughts or feelings would cause a negative reaction in the other person, and I didn’t like that. I never wanted anyone to be angry with me, and I certainly didn’t want them to dislike me, probably because I had very low self esteem.

So to clarify, anyone can have co-dependency, and it’s not a problem that only arises in people who may be dealing with an addict spouse, parent, or child.

Why am I talking about co-dependency?

Well this year my personal goal is to focus on healing. The healing the Lord has given me already through the cross, I am ready to embrace it. Co-dependency is just one of the issues I am facing this year, and I am seeking healing.

Healing from co-dependency for me will mean peace, freedom to say what I feel I need to say without having any fear within me, confidence. I will finally accept myself for who I am, imperfections and all.

My hope is that through my transparency through this journey it will encourage other Christian Stay at Home Moms with co-dependency issues to find healing and help, also.

Over the next several weeks I will continue to blog about my journey to find healing from co-dependency, and I hope you will join me.

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There are a few things that you can do to ensure that you have the closeness to God that you long for and need.  These include: spending time in prayer, spending time in God’s Word and fellowshipping with other believers.

All three of these things are important and will help you to fulfill your need for feeling a closeness to God that you cannot get any other way.

Prayer is our connection with God and is merely communicating to Him.  It involves not only talking to God but listening as well.  The listening part can sometimes be more difficult for us.  It is important to spend time with God daily in prayer.  This gives you a link to God and what He is doing in and through you.  You must make spending time in prayer a priority in order to truly see its benefits in your life.

Spending time reading and studying God’s Word is another way that you can be closer to God.  His words can help us in our times of need, in times of difficulty or when needed to make a decision.  God’s Word is powerful and will help us to know Him better. Again it is a must that you make it a priority.

Finally, fellowshipping with other believers helps you to be encouraged as a Christian.  Realizing there are others around you who are going through the same human situations can help you realize that God is working in your life.  Sharing stories, times of grief or suffering and even times of joy with others will help you see the “realness” of God and appreciate Him even more, in turn helping you to draw close to Him.

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Alyssa Avant is a Christian, speaker, blogger and podcaster. She creates guides to help moms encourage their daughters and help to “turn the hearts of girls towards God”. Help your daughter to “say no” with her Seven Easy Tips Encouraging Your Daughter to Say No Guide.

Download TODAY! ==> Faith - A Four Week Mini Bible Study
Subscribe to CSAHM via Kindle!