Today my family and I headed over to Olive Garden to have a nice family lunch. It had been a long 4 weeks to say the least, I was very much looking forward to this time with my family.
As we entered the sitting area, the hostess started handing out the menus, and she handed my oldest daughter a regular menu, not a kids menu. I politely asked her for a kids menu for my 10 year old. The hostess kind of looked at me with a questionable look, and asked me if I wanted a regular menu and a kids menu for my 10 year old daughter. Since she was looking at me strangely I glanced real quick at the menu to see if my daughter was still within the age range, and the menu clearly stated “10 AND under” so I was like, “No, we’ll just take the kids menu.”
Then the hostess just gives me this look like, “Yeah right lady.” – as if I was lying straight to her face. I can’t even explain how totally and utterly offended I was. Not only was she calling me a liar, but she was basically judging my character without even KNOWING me. Needless to say, I was furious.
I will give her the benefit of the doubt – yes my 10 year old (who will be 11 years old on May 12) does look as if she is 14 years old, I will give her that. But to judge my character and think of me as a liar without even KNOWING me – in my eyes – was totally uncalled for.
After weeks of dealing with people judging me without knowing me, being rude, disrespectful, and dealing with expectations so high that those who place them on me would never themselves be able to achieve and then I would end up feeling like a failure because I couldn’t meet them, my world came caving in on me and I started crying right there smack dab in the middle of the Olive Garden.
I felt beat up by the world and I was ready to curl up and retreat – I wanted to scream “uncle!” I was tempted to give up my effort to be a loving person (1 Corin. 13:4-7), I was ready to throw in the towel, I was done showing mercy, grace, and forgiveness and not receiving any of it back, even when I had done nothing wrong. I didn’t need grace – it felt like I was being picked on for no reason at all. The world was mad at me, and I was done being nice to them.
Do you ever feel like this? Are you ever tempted to just throw in the towel and let go of everything you know to be right? Do you ever feel like your efforts to be a loving person to the world is just not fruitful or at the very least acknowledged?
As I sat there telling my husband I wonder if they had a comment card so I could complain. I started explaining to him how so frustrating it is to do your very best to show kindness, respect, and meet others expectations – and then to turn around to have a total stranger judge you without even knowing you. I couldn’t hold back the tears.
My husband said to me, “That’s one thing about being a Christian we need to treat others differently than how the world treats them, maybe now is a good time to show her some grace.”
I thought to myself, yeah the funny thing about that is that’s what I have been doing, but at that point I just needed someone to show me some grace – not even that – a little bit of kindness would have been nice. So I just sat there and repeated in my head over and over “Grace, grace, grace. God showed me grace. Grace, grace, grace. He would want me to show them grace. Grace, grace, grace.”
Then I started thinking about Jesus and how he was persecuted for doing absolutely nothing wrong. People had so many expectations and yet they weren’t even willing to make those events come to pass themselves – they weren’t willing to do the dirty work, and when Jesus didn’t meet those expectations he was crucified – betrayed. The crazy thing about it all, they couldn’t even look past their expectations and see all the beautiful and wonderful things He DID do, they couldn’t even see who He really was.
My mind also went back to the part in the Bible where He was being nailed on the cross and He prayed for God the Father to “forgive them because they know not what they are doing.” He did nothing wrong and yet they were judging Him and killing him without even knowing who He truly was. Not only that but He was taking the blame for MY sins. Talk about grace & mercy.
“Grace.”
I thought to myself if God can do that for me, I will work to do that for others too.
In that moment I was free. Free from the anger, hurt, frustration, bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness that was just building up over the last several weeks. “If God can do that for me, I will work to do that for others too!”
So when someone asks me, “What does it mean to be a Christian?”
I would say it’s treating others with love, grace, and mercy. It’s showing the world WHO Jesus really was through our actions. It also means freedom…..free from having to please the world, free from needing to be acknowledged for what you do that’s right. I am free because God sees what I do, God knows who I am, God knows what I value, He sees my efforts, and THAT gives me freedom to be all that God created me to be. I am content with living this life to please God.
Yes, this world can be harsh and I know I’m not the only who at times is so ready to throw in the towel and take it out on the next person who talks to you. Before you give up please remember WHO you belong to and WHO you need to please. Let’s show this world Who Jesus really is – He is love, grace, mercy, and most importantly forgiveness…
About CSAHM
What a wonderful post. You are so right. It is easy to give grace when grace is being given, but difficult to give it when it’s not shown.
That is why we totally need to rely on the Lord, because I know that I can’t do it in my own strength. When life treats us unfairly, it’s hard to respond in love, but it is what Jesus would want us to do!
I know how you feel about getting to the “end of your rope” per se and just wanting someone to show ME a little kindness – a little consideration – a little thoughtfulness. It really is THOSE moments where showing grace & mercy matter. I find this lesson in my life daily – with my husband & children – and know that God must teach me to extend grace ESPECIALLY when I don’t feel it. It’s a hard lesson – and we are human – but thankfully we can rest in a Superhuman God who can GIVE us those resources when nobody else does. HE SEES ALL and knows what we do and HE is the one who matters.
This is EXACTLY what it means to be a Christian. To submit that fleshly desire to lash out (which is so evident in me I’m ashamed to say) and surrender those feelings and continue to GIVE. It comes down to being an OPEN & WILLING channel of God’s mercy & grace to those who don’t – and even those who do – know Him and need to see a bit of Jesus in their day.
Oh, I SOOOO know it. And sooo needed to hear this. I’ve been struggling with this in particular lately and to tell you the truth I think I did let go already. I haven’t gotten a chance to dish any out to anyone yet but I was ready to. I think I’ll go pick up my towel now and hang it back over my shoulder. Thanks for this post.